Weary

"And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart."  Matt. 18:1

This verse precedes a story in the book of Matthew about a widow who wearies an unjust judge with her continual petitions.  The verse tells us that Jesus told this story to His disciples so that they (and we) would always pray and not lose heart.  Jesus states, "And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them?"

Have you ever had something you prayed for over and over again?  And kept praying, for years?  And years?

Did you ever get tired? Weary?  Lose heart?

I have.

Today was one of those days.  I have this prayer that I have brought before the Lord time and time again.  And He has assured me that it will come to pass.  One day.

But, one day is not today.  And it was not last week, or the week before that.  Actually, 'one day' has not come for the last 10 years.  Did you hear me?  10 years!

And today, I got tired.  It happens. It happens a lot, to be honest, over ten years.  Sometimes I just get so frustrated and hurt that I cry out to the Lord, 'are you even listening?!! why are things still the same? can't you see I am tired?!'

He is listening and He does see, as He so graciously reminds me every time I throw my little fit. 

As He did today.

He also reminded me that I have not been praying fervently about this subject lately.  You know how it is.  You just move on when nothing happens.  Of course you still pray about it, just not as often as you did at the beginning, or with as much conviction.  It's easy to just get used to the way things are and assume they will stay that way.  So over time my prayers changed.  The fervor was gone.  It was more a resigned prayer, not a believing and crying out prayer.  But as He reminded me today, He is still God and His word is still good.  He will accomplish His purpose, and He wants me to keep praying about it.  To not get weary.  To not lose heart.  Because He is listening and things are not the same no matter what I see and He sees everything.

So on those days when I get frustrated and weary and feel myself losing heart, He is my strength.  Day in and day out.  For the last 10 years, and for the next however many He determines.  He is my strength, and my hope, and my salvation.  On Him will I wait.

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."